Hello. My name’s Anne, i’m 22, and french canadian.
I have a cleft lip and palate which made my childhood and adolescence a nightmare. This resulted in me being an incredibly shy person today, i’ve been bullied and picked on so much that it’s very hard for me to approach new people without automatically feeling judged or rejected. I’ve been through so many surgeries that even letting a guy touch my cheek is difficult. I wasted so much of my life just hoping that people don’t notice me, and now i am just sick of it. i’m a smart, interesting, funny person… knowing that i allow my life to be ruined by idiotic & insensitive people drives me mad. i hate that my insecurities are visible for everyone to see, while everybody else gets to hide how fucked up they really are inside. in case you haven’t noticed, i have lot of anger about it all lol… reading your stories really helps me though.. It helps me see how unique and strong we are… we have sensitive souls and we see the world like it really is…
Good luck to all of you
Sorry guys, don’t mind me. I’m just having a bad night/early morning (I don’t know what to consider 5AM with my sleep schedule). But seriously, I’d like to connect with everyone with a cleft lip/palette. I don’t know anyone and I feel really lonely.
Come on over here, friend! There’s plenty of people with clefts over here :) I’m sorry you were having a bad night I hope things pick up for you <3
Its been 5 days since my cleft revision surgery and I’m doing pretty good. Still a bit swollen but not that sore, plus trying to clean dried blood around stitches is pretty annoying. But all in all its good and my stitches will come out in a couple of days.
I Went out for a bit with my mate for the first time since surgery. Took a scarf to cover up half my face but after a minute I thought “whatever” and just walked around my town centre displaying the scars, stitches and dried blood.
Was surprisingly liberating. Compared to the amount of surgeries and recovery time and all the other stuff that comes with a cleft lip and palate, its nice to now and again just have a carefree attitude towards it.
Hopefully I’ll heal fine and from what I can see so far the surgeons have done a good job.
Potentially one or two surgeries are needed after this but its nice to be near the end of this all.
So happy for you! Sounds like you’re doing great :)
I’m curious about nose piercings. Does it help give an illusion that the nose is even or does it make it more noticeable? Anyone with a cleft and a nose piercing please help me out :)
Hello friends! Does anyone have any experience with piercings and how it makes your nose look? Wanna help @smilelikesimba out?
Had my cleft surgery today. Bit sore and tired but my surgeon is happy with how it turned out. Not seen how I look yet because of the dressings and feels a bit numb. Gonna have to get some more surgeries in a few months. But at least I’m closer to ending this chapter of my life.
Anyway now I’m just trying to kill the boredom. Also the hospital doesn’t have many vegan options on it’s menu :/
Glad to hear everything went well! Hope your recovery is quick and painless! Take care of yourself <3
I totally know how you feel. It’s really hard to make a good first impression in your new classes when you’re worried about how you look and sound. You’re going to have to go through your like “Cleft Palate in 30 Seconds” speech to explain things to classmates and strangers.
I think the comparing yourself to other girls thing is really hard to give advice on because we all do it. Cleft or not. It’s harder on us clefties. But still. The way I’ve dealt with it is the fake it till you make it thing. I acted like I liked the way I looked and tried to educate everyone on what a cleft was so they weren’t ignorant anymore (that separated the tactlessly curious from the genuinely mean spirited) and just owned it.
I mean that’s not really helpful when you’re at the stage in your life where you don’t like the way you look and you are unhappy. But the fake it till you make it stuff really does work. When I started faking positivity and faking that I thought I was pretty my confidence got a huge boost until I wasn’t faking anymore.
Just be kind to yourself. Don’t add to the negativity. Try to be positive. Comparing yourself to others is toxic for anyone.
Followers! Please chime in with real, substantial advice where I have failed!
Wishing you the best of luck back at college, my friend <3